The World Series starts in less than 24 hours, with the Colorado Rockies and Jesus Christ taking on the Boston Red Sox, who are on their own. As fate would have it, both of these teams faced off against OUR San Diego Padres this season, which gives us a common denominator to compare these two teams with. Let’s break it down, position-by-position.

Catcher

Yorvit Torrealba vs. Jason Varitek

Against the Padres this season, Torrealba put up a line of .138/.153/.224 with an OPS of .377. That’s really bad. On the flipside, Varitek put up a line of .500/.625/1.333 with an OPS of 1.958. That’s really good.

Add to the equation that Varitek is a grizzled vet with a C on his uniform and this one is very clear.

Advantage: Boston

First Base

Todd Helton vs. Kevin Youkilis

aka “You look like a goat, Murray”

Usually, I judge players based on their facial hair. Varitek’s sexy beard, for example, is way better than what Torreabla’s sporting, but I can’t do that in this case. Both Helton and Youkilis are 100% mountain, so I guess I’ll go to the numbers.

Helton: .819 OPS

Youkilis: .500 OPS

Helton it is. I’d imagine it’s not too late for Youk to turn that glorious goatee into a beard, so I’ll get back to you if/when he does.

Advantage: Colorado

Second Base

Kaz Matsui vs. Dustin Pedroia

I want to just give this to Pedroia for his epic march after his home run in game 7 that barely cleared the wall, but that’s not fair.

On the season, Pedroia only managed an OPS of .452 against the Padres. That’s not quite Torrealba territory, but it’s not good. Kaz, on the otherhand, put up a Geoff Blum-like .638. By my count, that’s almost 200 points higher than Dustin being Dustin.

March on.

Advantage: Colorado

Shortstop

Troy Tulowitzki vs. Julio Lugo

Tulowitzki went to Long Beach State while Lugo didn’t. I don’t even need to look at the numbers.

(Tulo wins anyway because Lugo bests Torrealba with a .091 OPS)

Advantage: Colorado

NOTE: If Ryan Braun were an option, I’d choose him.

Left Field

Matt Holliday vs. Manny Ramirez

If they were so inclined, a person could put the entire WS on this match up. While Ortiz is probably the best player in the Red Sox lineup, Manny is Boston. I mean, if I just said “David,” would you know who I’m talking about? I could be talking about David Pedroia for all you know.

Holliday, who should come in second in the MVP voting behind Wright, had an OPS this season against the Padres of 1.016. Not quite Varitek, but not shabby. Manny, on the otherhand, only managed a .733.

How disappointing.

Advantage: Colorado

Center Field

Willy Tavares vs. Jacoby Ellsbury

It would seem that Ellsbury is a coward who ducked the Padres this season, so I guess it’s Tavares by default. And those really are the two sweetest words in the English language for him because he only managed a .513 OPS.

Advantage: Colorado

Right Field

Brad Hawpe vs. J.D. Drew

Hawpe: .908 OPS

Drew: .857 OPS

It’s close, but whatever. These guys are boring.

Advantage: Colorado

Designated Hitter

??? vs. David Pedroia

This one’s easy.

Advantage: Boston

So, by my count, after looking at the offense, Colorado is up on Boston 7-2. The Red Sox staff is going to have to come with it if they’re going to catch up.

Pitcher # 1

Jeff Francis vs. Josh Beckett

Or, Jeff Francis vs. Walter Johnson.

Francis: 6.61 ERA, .921 OOPS

Johnson: 2.25 ERA, .568 OOPS

Oh, Johnson won. How about that.

Advantage: Boston

Pitcher # 2

Ubaldo Jimenez vs. Curt Schilling

Did you know that if you type “Ubaldo” into Google, Jimenez’s Baseball-Reference page is the second thing to pop up? If you type in Curt, it’s only third. Pathetic.

Advantage: Colorado

Pitcher # 3

Josh Fogg vs. Daisuke Matsuzaka

The Dragon Slayer vs. Dice-K. While Fogg has the better nickname, he had an ERA against the Padres this season of .736 and an OOPS of .995. That’s Julio Lugo bad, especially when you consider that Matsuzaka had an ERA of 1.50 and an OOPS of .575.

Advantage: Boston

Pitcher # 4

Aaron Cook vs. Tim Wakefield

This is like a reverse of the last match up. Wakefield had an ERA of 10.12 and an OOPS of 1.217. ¡Dios mio! And Cook had an ERA of 1.50 with an OOPS .516.

Advantage: Colorado

Closer

Miguel Corpas vs. Jonathan Papelbon

Corpas, this season, had an ERA against the Padres of 1.59 and an OOPS of .610. That’s impressive.

But it’s not impressive enough.

Papelbon: 0 ERA, .286 OOPS

Advantage: Boston

Boston’s pitching made it interesting but it wasn’t enough as Colorado held them off, 9-5. Putting that into a 7 game series, I’d say that means Colorado and J.C. take this one in about 6. One of the games probably goes into extra innings.