Padres bloggin' since 2007

Nick Canepa now a parody of himself

April 13th, 2010 by Melvin

That’s the only way I can read Canepa’s newest piece without honest to goodness, not a trace of snark, feeling sorry for the guy. Then he called me a geek.

Baseball has lost some of its charm

When we were kids, baseball players played baseball, so that’s what we did…

Regardless of the outrage you’re haplessly manufacturing, baseball is still played. It’s not like a game of quidditch broke out on the field. There is a pitcher and batter, the batter hits a pitched ball with a bat. Fathers watch with daughters. Kids play in the park. I managed to drink a beer yesterday without dropping my calculator. None of the stuff you hate takes away from the things you claim to like. Even this response to your argument is cliche by now.

The Grand New Game — if that’s what you want to call it (I prefer the old one) — is being overanalyzed into embalmment. Baseball history always has been driven by stats, which is why the steroid era has smacked it in the mouth and it’s still bleeding. But we never knew what an OPS or UZR or any of these other geek formulas were. And, if we didn’t know, the real ballplayers didn’t know. They didn’t need to. They just went out and played.

Go into Padres manager Bud Black’s office and you’ll find him sitting at his desk, laptop open. Used to be, when you went to see a skipper after a game, his fly might be open — or he might be naked. How I long to see Dick Williams in there, two legs propped up, stripped down to his sanitaries and a few other things, sipping Chivas Regal out of an 18-ounce beer cup, speaking in a tongue salted by a lengthy stay in baseball’s inn.

Man, how I miss that.

Yikes. You did see the primer printed in your very own newspaper on UZR? I don’t think I need to point out the name calling implications toward your own readers.

Joe Banks, eighty-two years young, has come to this pond every day for the past seventeen years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery. The ducks…were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say, Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there’s just no room in this modern world, for an old man…and his ducks.

Oops, that quote isn’t from your article.

Sorry Nick. This piece is 10 years late. It is cliche by now. You are cliche. These sappy, emotionally manipulative, empty space where content is supposed to be pieces are what strangled your beloved newspapers. Strangled past tense. You don’t deserve to earn a living writing about baseball. Readers have already voted with their feet.

It’s your own fault. It’s not numbers, players, “society”, or any other imagined entity you think is to blame because people don’t listen to you anymore. Silly words of yours on a computer screen in a pitiful attempt to convince yourself and your readers you are not at fault will not change that.

It has been laundered by too many statistics, too many Ph.Ds, and too much money has nearly washed it clean of characters.

“The players are bigger, stronger, faster than we were,” Coleman says. “You can’t knock today’s players. I don’t think they play the same game we did. They don’t use their brains the way we did, but they’re better players than we were.

Honestly, I don’t even know what this article is supposed to be about. UZR is ruining little league? There are too many “Ph.Ds” in the game, but Jerry Coleman is complaining that “They don’t use their brains the way we did”? Stats were fine and dandy until OPS came around, but that was the breaking point? Did you read this? Do you ever read your stuff?

You don’t like baseball anymore? Then stop writing about the subject and quit embarrassing yourself with this shit. I’m sure you can still find Dick Williams’ open fly around somewhere. Have at it.

Posted in gripes, media | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Nick Canepa now a parody of himself”

  1. Randy Ready says:

    Seriously, what an asshole.

    • Randy Ready says:

      It looks like SOSD not only doesn’t care about the readers their staff insults, it doesn’t care that they’re upset, either. They refused to publish my comment on their site:

      “If you don’t want to follow baseball because Dick Williams doesn’t have his Tricky Richard out while chugging a beer post-game in his office, please stop covering baseball. You’d be doing both yourself and the readers a favor.”

    • Melvin says:

      Awesome. It’s published here!

  2. Nick Canepa: Hater of Progress.

    Nick should go rent Hoosiers and pay attention early in the movie when that little squirt Ollie gives a report on progress. Ollie goes on to claim that without progress there would be no indoor plumbing. Indoor plumbing, Nick Canepa!!! Without indoor plumbing we’d have nowhere to read your crappy articles, Nick!

    Wait….does anyone even read the paper off-line any more? Damn computers! Damn educated people with their fancy degrees! Damn progress…..and damn managers who put their pants on! You’re on notice, Bud Black!!

  3. You, sir, make me pine for the heady days of FJM. Nicely done.

  4. Daniel says:

    This is funny. Nick is just an old man, who is disgruntled that he is old. Baseball is alive and well and relevant. Stats help GM’s make decisions and fantasy teams, doesn’t take away from the experience. Free agency and players union have made it harder for players to stay with teams their whole career, but that doesn’t mean you cannot fall in love with a franchise or that specific year’s team. These 2010 Padres are special.

  5. Awesome! Canapa is an idiot. I don’t read his stuff – I didn’t realize he had posted such a crappy article…

  6. John Conniff says:

    “You don’t like baseball anymore? Then stop writing about the subject and quit embarrassing yourself with this shit. I’m sure you can still find Dick Williams’ open fly around somewhere. Have at it.”

    One of the better ending lines of the year…LOL

    Look at Canepa this way. Imagine if you were hiring a lawyer and he let you know that he graduated law school in 1980, passed the bar in 1981 and then stopped reading about any new cases in 1990.

    Still wants your money to represent you, just doesn’t feel like doing the work necessary to maintain his standing in his profession.

    ..and in a nutshell you have the sphere of Nick’s career.

  7. Tom says:

    To be fair to Canepa you should see what those damn stat geeks did to his lawn.

  8. Melvin says:

    This was another time I went nuts on Canepa:

    http://thesacrificebunt.com/708/history-says-writers-should-use-examples-to-support-not-contradict-an-opinion/

    He tried to argue that the Padres should NOT have traded Jake Peavy by giving examples of times San Diego teams SHOULD have traded certain players.

  9. Didi says:

    Nick Canepa doesn’t care what you think because you are still living in your mom’s basement and he’s read by more people that you’ll ever be…so there.

    I didn’t know about his article until I read this entry, and it boggles the mind that the UT is paying him to write such drivel.

  10. [...] got bored and restless without a game. Some of us rambled on about process, others picked apart articles of questionable merit, while still others pondered the state of the Padres [...]

  11. Larry says:

    Canepa’s column brought back memories! Unfortunately, they were memories of my grandfather’s monologues on how the world has gone to hell, and how pure and simple things were back in the old days. I suspect Canepa’s grandkids were too busy texting to listen, so he wrote it up.

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