Padres bloggin' since 2007

Phrases I’d Like Matty V to Use On Air

January 29th, 2008 by Melvin

I love Matty V. He’s witty, irreverent, and is loaded with pop culture info that by all rights should be totally useless to anyone, but he pulls it off. He chose to pick up a mutual option for 2008 as opposed to leaving for greener market sized offerings in LA, Chicago, FOX, or ESPN.

I don’t understand it, you wanted to leave in 2004. Now you chose to stay. Matt, you are an enigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in the warm pillowy flatbread of another enigma.

But I can’t stay confused with you. Because I love the way you put Grant in his place. You seem genuine. I love the way you seem like yourself on air.

That said, nobody’s perfect. Here are some phrases I think you should use, or continue the use of, during Padres broadcasts:

  • absofruitly posilutely
  • guesstimate
  • get in your el camino and go back to the ozarks
  • Equivalent Average
  • bodacious catch
  • the sample size isn’t large enough to draw any meaningful results
  • folks, you should check out thesacbunt.com
  • is it a slam?
  • the Generals win!
  • watch me host a celebrity pull my finger tournament, next week on FOX
  • shut the fuck up Mark

When it comes to actual analysis Matt, you suck. Leave it to the professionals. And by the professionals I mean us.

Posted in media, the funny | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “Phrases I’d Like Matty V to Use On Air”

  1. R. Lankford says:

    What would it take to get Arsenio Hall to replace Grant?

  2. […] baseball. Aside from the baseball part about baseball, of course. This is the stuff that makes Matty Vasgersian so special. Score:Melvin Nieves-worthy. That’s right. That […]

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