Padres bloggin' since 2007

Top 5 Spring Training Uniform Crazies

March 17th, 2008 by Melvin

We here at the Sacrifice Bunt are fans of looking good. A little swagger never hurt anybody, right? I’ve gone as far as creating a study to define a new standard in hipness and with withitness at looking suave.

I would now like to share my favorite uniform crazies from spring training. What’s a uniform crazy? You know I don’t have an answer to that. What do the points mean? LOTS, obviously.

5. I’m so freaking jealous some teams don’t have to wear the crappy hats

The Florida Marlins

As far as I can tell the Marlins, Angels, and Rockies all got out of it somehow. Maybe no one noticed? Why do I even care as much as I do? Some questions in life cannot be answered, my friends. Some questions can be answered, but failed former Padre prospects like myself simply aren’t privy to this kind of top secret info. Score: 8.0

4. New Padres catchers’ mask

Padres Catchers’ Mask

These goalie style masks are on their way out, bug dagnabbit ours now looks less girly and weird. Lord knows we need all the manly we can get with Mikey C gone and Brian G still on the roster.

Do take my opinion with a grain of salt. I pegged CY a bit, shall we say, not nearly as awesome before the “happenings”. Score: Mas O Menos

3. Dodgers, Red Sox, Tigers wear regular season jerseys inexplicably during spring training

Dodgers and Astros

Not sure what to make of it, but I like it. I can’t help but see spring training jerseys as a marketing tool to sell more crap. The jerseys, the coaches jackets and now special spring training hats change every other year. Just enough to make dumb people buy more shit. Pick what look works and stick with it. Score: ¥

2. 2005-2006 spring training jerseys

Padres 2006 Spring Training Jerseys

Beautiful. Clean, and unique. You never see that, especially with a design used previously by the team in Milwaukee. You can still find these garbs of hotness on eBay for cheap.

Compare to the current scheme. That photo is from 2007. You may notice the toned down hat foreskin for 2008. Anyone with me seeing a 2009 circumcision? Score: Hat Foreskin. Just to say that again.

1. Giles antic: Chargers helmet

Brian Giles wears Chargers helmet

Sometimes I feel spoiled watching our boy B break the standards of normalcy on a baseball team for my amusement. At least I assume it’s for my amusement. Though Brian may enjoy some derivative lulz for himself during attempts to make me and only me laugh. The point is there aren’t a lot of players who show off a goofy, lovable personality the way Brian Giles does. The definition of lovable is left to your own discretion.

Add an article like this to the mix, which shows Giles wearing said helmet like a jackass with nary an explanation and we get comedey gold. I love the this kind of non-sequitor behavior around baseball. Aside from the baseball part about baseball, of course. This is the stuff that makes Matty Vasgersian so special. Score:Melvin Nieves-worthy. That’s right. That high.

Do you have a favorite spring training uniform crazy? Share in the comments! Don’t forget to leave a score.

Also, if you haven’t voted in our top prospect poll on the right there, now’s as good a time as any. So far people are with me liking Kyle Blanks.

Posted in spring training, the funny | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Top 5 Spring Training Uniform Crazies”

  1. Preston Gomez says:

    Buddy, you forgot the newest sensation – the base coach batting helmet.

  2. Preston Gomez says:

    Oh! The best trend is the old-school look all the Giants pitchers are going for this season – stirrups, baby.

  3. Melvin Nieves says:

    Two lamentable omissions. Melvin Nieves regrets the error.

    And yes, stoked for the stirrups.

  4. Ray Lankford says:

    Stirrups are lame. Give me the long pants with straps that go under your shoe any day.

  5. Preston Gomez says:

    Not the pants with the elastic pulled out of the bottom so they hang down normally? Straps only?

  6. [...] Comments The Sacrifice Bunt | 3-19 Sacrificial Links on Oh, the humanity!The Sacrifice Bunt | Top 5 Spring Training Uniform Crazies on Phrases I’d Like Matty V to Use On AirFriday Links (28 Mar 08) on Sports Illustrated Opens [...]

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