Padres bloggin' since 2007

Transplant fighting Padres shirt

November 29th, 2010 by

San Diego Padres Shirt Your City So Great

Bothered more by  Cubs fans than a Padres loss? Does that transplanted retired lawyer and Cardinals fan from Columbia, Missouri need to be put in his place? What about that tough guy Red Sox fan on vacation from the craphole they call the entire East Coast?

I’m tired of visitors at Petco who are so damn proud of their home city they don’t want to be there anymore. Lets take back Petco Park for Padres fans. This shirt makes it easy, and it’s available now for $11.90 at the Sacrifice Bunt shop. For you hipsters there’s an American Apparel version as well.

As with everything else, we don’t make any commission on these, the price is as affordable as we can get. Use the coupon code “GIFTS2010″ for free shipping on orders over $30, so now’s your chance to pick up an I <3 Headley shirt as well.

Posted in misc, the funny | 1 Comment »

Nostalgia, thy name is this song

August 15th, 2010 by

Lets have some baseball fun!

Posted in the funny | Comments Off

Nothing to see heree

July 7th, 2009 by

Cesar Carillo

This is all.

Melvin Update: Turns out it’s not all

Honest to goodness this is purely coincidental, as I originally posted this photo for the sole reason that it gave me a curious case of the giggles. Turns out Cesar Carrillo (yes, the man in the photo, and the Padres 2005 first round draft choice) pitched an outstanding game last night in San Antonio. One run, 8 innings, 4 strikeouts on a single walk.

Posted in the funny | Comments Off

Casa De Nieves: Experience It!

April 7th, 2009 by

Adrian Gonzalez: Experience It

Posted in misc, the funny | 2 Comments »

Tim Sullivan’s (Second) Eckstein Article Appears Faster Than Expected

January 16th, 2009 by

Eckstein embodies St. Louis’ success at playing ‘little ball’
Padres’ new 5-foot-7 sparkplug will provide toughness and tenacity

Sullivan is foaming at the mouth. An entire year to write articles filled to the brim with absolutely nothing.

Posted in media, the funny | 1 Comment »

The Sacrifice Bunt Theme Song

November 25th, 2008 by

It is a well known fact that writers who regularly cite equivalent average, Pythagorean record, and major league equivalences are known as “dope” and “super rad” by hip urban youth.

In order to cement our image of popularity in the eyes of the Dragonball Z fan club, where the hip urban youth hang out, naturally, we are excited to announce The Sacrifice Bunt Theme Song. It will now play automatically every time our site is loaded.

Don’t worry, we’re well aware autoplaying music never gets old.

Warning, there is swearing. Yes, we also wish swearing was illegal.

Smack by Zion I and The Grouch.

We make pesos
Plus we do want we want
Rather swing for the fence than go for the bunt

Protip: Listen for references of blogging and free agency as well.

P.S. Who in San Diego isn’t depressed after that Chargers loss to Baltimore? This photo of LaDanian is the only good thing to come out of it.

Posted in the funny | 2 Comments »

Why write when you can link?

October 29th, 2008 by

Sacrificial LinksIn honor of the Cubs recent dismissal from the playoffs, (way to stay up to date there, Melvin) please enjoy this look back at the 2003 Cubs – Marlins playoff series.

I do find it appropriate that you’re reading this post on a Padres website, and it is my favorite baseball article of all time, and only about 1/3 of the article actually relates to the Cubs, or baseball for that matter. No matter. Without further adieu, since there’s obviously no other news to talk about relating to the possible trade of a star player, or any type of important series happening right now, I submit to you “Did Steve Bartman Cost the Cubs the Series?” by Jay Pinkerton. I should warn you though, the article is juvenile, not safe for work (there’s swearing but no pictures), and very unfunny.

Here’s the requisite excerpt:

Let Bartman go. The Cubs not winning the World Series is hardly cause for alarm — they’ve been doing it successfully for decades without any help. The fact that someone in the audience decided to pitch in this year just means it was one less mistake for the Cubs themselves to make.

Posted in sacrificial links, the funny | 2 Comments »

Sacrifice Bunt Craption Contest

September 15th, 2008 by

Craption this pic:

Extra support for the troops

My entry: Extra support for the troops!

Posted in the funny | 7 Comments »

Things Steve Quis said on air yesterday

July 25th, 2008 by

San Diego @ Pittsburgh, 7/24/2008, Channel 4 Padres broadcast.

The Good

He brought up OPS.  He called its O-P-S.  Do people do that?  In my head it’s always been “Awps”.  Either way, Ops isn’t perfect but it’s a step in the right direction for Channel 4. And it wasn’t the first time Quis used the decent compared to most metrics they use on TV.  Cheers to him.

The Funny

Grant: See those seven X’s?  That’s the size shirt I wear. XXXXXXL.*

Quis: And the kind of movies you buy.**

This was followed by a long, awkward pause, presumably Quis getting yelled at for saying something so outrageously inappropriate on air.

The Quis

He’s kinda spazzy, and not as flashy as Vasgersian, but he comes across like he actually does research.  I like Steve, though I think I’m the only one.

* Paraphrased

** Definitely not paraphrased, but hiliariousiphrased.

Posted in media, the funny | 4 Comments »

Padres dollar days and opportunity cost

July 14th, 2008 by

Concessions line at Petco Park

Opportunity cost is of course is the value of time doing one thing (say watching a baseball game) that is forgone in order to do something else (say stand in line at concession stands, or point out dudes in jeans shorts [or both!]).

Now suppose the dollar value of a college educated blogger’s time is worth roughly $30 an hour.  I submit for your review an opportunity cost computation of the Padres dollar days promotion from Friday, July 11th, 2008.

  • $0 – They ran out of soda, but provided free Raspberry Iced tea.  Though I wouldn’t bank on that, I’m a sweet talker.
  • $3 – Three hot dogs, limit four items per blogger.
  • $15 – Opportunity cost of waiting in line for 30 minutes.

Total expenses: $18

The final three home games for the promotion are Monday the 28th though Wednesday.  Concessions lines move much slower than usual.  Don’t believe everything you read.

Posted in gripes, petco park, the funny | 4 Comments »

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