How are you? I hope your Thanksgiving went well. Now that it’s over, let’s start talking about Christmas and the gifts you should get us fans to buy our love.
I know that you’ve already said that you like the uniform colors and that any changes would simply be tweaks, so I won’t waste your time asking for brown. But I do have some requests.
Can we bring the Friar back? I know that he’s been around, with other members of the Friar family, but I feel like he’s been pushed to the side. The first thing you can do for me, Mr. Moorad, for us, is put the Friar on all jerseys. Home, road, and alt. And please leave him in maroon. Not blue, or tan, but maroon. The jersey could use the added splash of color.
My second request is that you simplify the jerseys. The sand really chases the blue around the home jersey, so let’s put some limits on it: save the sand for the shadow. Please take it off the sides and number.
For your benefit, we’ve drawn a picture.
Looks good, huh? Thank Melvin, he’s the artist. But we didn’t stop there. Since I’m not a big breakfast eater, you’re going to have to really open your wallet to please, and that means you have to change the road jerseys as well.
The bow tie is fun, but not nearly as fun as the jersey it replaced. Not only were they stylish, but they were the jersey worn by Tony Gwynn, Sr. when he knocked his 3,000th hit. That’s a legacy we should honor by bringing into the now. We present you with this.
You’ll notice that we’ve added the Friar and eliminated the letter outlines. We were serious on the Friar, and the simplicity. And it looks fantastic. But maybe you’re not comfortable with the sand jerseys. Baseball has never been a game that rewards individualism, and the sand jerseys are really what set us apart. So, for you, we came up with something a little safer.
As you can see, they still look fantastic. But I’ve got a surprise for you, Mr. Moorad. Does this new road jersey look familiar to you? Because it should. We know how much you admire the Red Sox. We admire the Red Sox, too, for the work they did in simplifying their road uniforms. Just a little something from us to you.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Moorad. It’s less than four weeks away.
Melvin Update: Also of note: no alternate hat with the road uniform. I know, I know, fans seem to like the blue and sand hat. I like the idea of it too, but here’s the thing: it’s completely unreadable more than four feet away. That hat makes the Padres “official brand” into a blob to everyone watching on TV and in the stands. Not a good idea. If anything the SD should be straight sand, no white outline. Like the alternate green hats but blue.
Also, also of note: please don’t get rid of the sand away jersey. It’s the one thing keeping the Padres from being the most boring team on the planet of any sport.
Second Melvin Update: Here is the original, dream scenario jersey design that will never happen because it isn’t something another team has already done.