The first full day of Major League Baseball in the year two-thousand and eight has come to a close. What have we learned?

If the Padres only thought about acquiring you, you’re good.

While my guy Hollywood Jim went hitless today (.000/.000/.000) and didn’t even get in the game, some of the names bandied about before he joined the team did okay for themselves:

Kosuke Fukudome went three for three with a walk, a home run, and three RBI. The home run came in the bottom of the ninth with two runners on and the Cubs down by three. If it wasn’t for Tony “Asshole” Gwynn, Jr., he would’ve been the hero in Chicagoland. But T2 came through in the clutch.

Nate McClouth went three for five with a walk, a home run, and four RBI. Although he did make a crucial fielding gaffe that allowed the Braves to come back and tie the game in the ninth. But the Pirates did come back, so it’s all good.

Luke Scott went one for three.

TSB’s guy, Milton Bradley, went oh for two with two walks. A .500 OBP. That guy just finds a way.

Scott Hairston, starting center fielder during tonight’s Astros/Padres competition, went oh for four. But Garfield did go two for three with a walk. He might not have been in the lineup without the Living Legend in center, so that’ll do.

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Thanks to Geoff Young at the venerable Ducksnorts, who’s on the ball instead of busy with Mario Galaxy:

Milton Bradley is gone. On Thursday, the Padres were optimistic that they’d retain his services, but now it appears that the Texas Rangers have swooped in and grabbed him.

We need a plan.

Padres Set To Bring Back Bradley (Padres.com)

The $4 million includes a discount for stepping on Mikey C’s foot.

Bradley suffered a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee in the final week of the regular season after a much-publicized run-in with umpire Mike Winters, though Kevin Towers has been told by Bradley’s agent that he will be ready on or near Opening Day, though May 1 may be a more realistic date.

Quite the little fireball of a sentence here, what caught my eye was the section in italics (mine). Since there was no quote, who suspects him back on May first, Towers or MLB.com writer Corey Brock?

Not so fast says Tom Krasovic via agent Sam Levinson in a UT update:

“We do not have an agreement with the San Diego Padres,” said Bradley’s agent, Sam Levinson, this afternoon.

Levinson said he doubts a deal will get done today, but that the Padres are “high on Milton’s list.”

If you’re reading this blog, chances are you know what he’s capable of. Humor me though, and read this: Bradley’s Runs Created / 27 last year was 8.24. He barely missed the qualifying mark at 244 PAs, but had he made 250, to his north would sit Hanley Ramirez with Ryan Howard just below.

Also if you’re visiting The Sac Bunt, you probably have an opinion on both his injury history and, shall we say his “energy”.

When it comes to injuries, there always seems to be action behind the scenes that changes the landscape, though we tend to ignore that and develop our own conclusions. I’m going to cop out and not even share an opinion, considering there isn’t much I could say that is any more than a guess. His agent says he lost 15 pounds. Sounds good to me, lets get going and see what happens.

What I will say is that I would love even 350 Milton Bradley Brand PAs for my $4 million. With extra stare downs please. Speaking of which, why is it that most Padres articles from those who actually speak to the guy defend him?

And if you need even one more reason to like the deal, here it is. Nobody knows who UT writer Alan Droz is, suffice it to say his stuff has been a goldmine for unintended comedy:

So the Padres grab another marginal-type player on the cheap and hope he’s an upgrade. Bradley is a switch-hitter, but that’s not a big boost; so is Jose Cruz Jr. (right now one of the Padres’ three best outfielders). Because switch-hitters will bat left-handed most of the time, Petco Park negates that power.

More laughs to come, baby.